Dear Subscribers:

Today’s newsletter topic is about how to give compliments.  Even though we all love to get compliments, sometimes we feel a bit awkward about giving compliments to others.

We get worried that we’re going to sound a little too vulnerable, or a little insincere.

If you have a problem giving compliments because you feel a bit vulnerable, this is actually a good sign.  It means that you are expressing something authentic that you really feel and believe.

Don’t let a bit of awkwardness hold you back from showing your appreciation of others. We all want to feel truly appreciated, even the hardest among us.  Your genuine, heart felt compliments can make a world of difference to the persons who receive them.

This will be the last newsletter of the current year.  Christmas and New Year’s holidays are coming soon and I’m sure you’re all going to be very busy.

I wish you the happiest and most wonderful times during the coming weeks, and in the next year.  Even if you don’t celebrate Christmas, this time of year is often set aside in many cultures to reflect on the past year and to look ahead.

If there are any questions you have for me, or any topics you wish to see addressed in future issues of this newsletter, or on the website, let me know at the email address below.

Giving Compliments to Others

How do you feel when somebody gives you a compliment?  If you feel that the compliment is sincere and deserved, you get a warm happy glow inside from the feeling that somebody appreciates you and the work you are doing.

However, if you have a sneaking suspicion that the compliment wasn't sincere, then you might feel troubled and suspicious about the person who complimented you.  You might start to wonder what that person really wants from you.  You may even decide to avoid that person altogether if you suspect that their compliment was meant to somehow manipulate you.

One of the best things we can do for those people around us, whether they are our coworkers, our friends, or members of our own family, is to show our appreciation of them through the use of well chosen compliments.

Remember that giving a compliment to another person can be one of the best things you can do to improve your relationship.  However, giving a compliment in the wrong way can derail the relationship by causing suspicion about your motives.

When you are giving compliments to other people, you have to keep in mind the potential pitfalls you may create if your compliment backfires because it doesn't sound sincere.

For example, if your compliment is too flowery or too wordy, you run the risk of sounding insincere and manipulative.  It won't be believable.  You may even create suspicion about your motives.

If the compliment is too general, it will sound as if you don't really have anything positive to tell them.

When complimenting other people, always look for specific things you can say that shows how much you appreciate that person.

Instead of just giving a generic compliment such as, "You're such a great person", find a specific quality or accomplishment that you genuinely appreciate.  For example, "I really appreciate how hard you worked today to get the basement cleaned up."

At the same time you compliment their qualities, you can also tell them a bit about how you feel about them in a positive way.

Always remember, every person wants to feel special, to feel appreciated.  When you give a compliment about a person's specific accomplishments or qualities, you show that you are really paying attention to them and appreciating them.

By Royane Real

If you’d like to read another article that can help improve your complimenting technique, please visit the link below:

http://www.royane.com/articles/conversation/63-how-to-give-great-compliments 

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I hope you have found today’s newsletter helpful.  If you know anybody that you think would enjoy it, feel free to email it to them. 

If you have any comments or questions about this newsletter, or on any other topic that is dealt with on my website, feel free to contact me.

I haven’t been receiving messages at  info@royane.com but I don’t know why that address isn’t working.  Messages don’t seem to get through to that address.

If you want to reach me, try this address instead:  rroyannereal@yahoo.com

Yours truly, 

Royane Real