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By Royane Real
Author of “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends”
Do you worry too much about what other people are thinking of you? Do you feel like everybody has to like you or it's the end of the world? Do you suffer from a fear of rejection? Is the thought that somebody might reject you almost unbearable?
If you say yes to most of these questions, you are probably lacking in confidence and self esteem. You are too hard on yourself, and you are seeking approval from others instead of giving approval to yourself. A lack of self esteem and a fear of other people's opinions of you will keep you from having a satisfying social and emotional life.
When you lack confidence and self esteem it's very hard to reach out to people and make new friends because you are convinced that most people won't like you. It's hard to date the people you are really attracted to if you don't have confidence in yourself.
On the other hand, it's a lot easier to make new friends if you have confidence in yourself and if you believe that you are a likeable person. It's easier to make friends if you don't get too worried about whether people like you or not. It's easier to date the person of your dreams when you believe that you are a likable and valuable person.
Some people are lucky enough that confidence and self esteem come naturally to them. Other people need to learn how to be more self confident, and learn how to get over a fear of rejection. Sometimes they will even need to have the help of a therapist in order to learn how to overcome a fear of rejection.
The truth is, everybody gets rejected sometimes. Even the people who are very attractive and very popular will get rejected.
Even the people who are very attractive and popular aren't liked by everyone.
However, when people have confidence in themselves and when they have a strong sense of self worth, then getting rejected doesn't bother them very much. These people know how to generate their own sense of self worth from within, and they don't look to other people to decide whether or not they are okay.
Give up the idea that everybody has to like you. The truth is, you can't be liked by absolutely everybody.
It's not possible.
Not only is it impossible to be liked by everybody, it's not a worthwhile goal to have. When you are trying too hard to please everyone else, you're not being your authentic self. You're twisting yourself into a pretzel, and you won't be meeting your own needs. You'll be too focused on whether or not other people like you.
Instead of trying to have everyone like you, and thinking that it's just terrible if someone doesn't like you, you need to be yourself and you need to like yourself.
When you have the courage to be your authentic self, you can let other people decide whether to like you or not. If they decide that you're not their cup of tea, you can move on with your life.
This article was written by Royane Real, author of the popular book "Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends" To improve your social life, download it today at http://www.lulu.com/real
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