Self Confidence – the 4 Power Secrets
By Peter Murphy
Introductory comments by Royane Real
Author of “Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation
Do you suffer from a lack of confidence? Is your mind filled with too many negative beliefs about yourself, and hardly any positive beliefs?
You were not born with any negative beliefs about yourself. You may have developed some negative beliefs about yourself while you were growing up, based on things you may have heard from your parents, and based on how you were treated.
But even if your beliefs about yourself right now are very negative, the good news is that your negative beliefs can be changed. Why? Because your negative beliefs are really just opinions. They are concepts you have decided to believe. But they are not actual facts.
You can learn to challenge all your negative beliefs about yourself and about how much you think other people like you. You can develop a new opinion of how much good you deserve to have in your life.
How can you do this?
Start out by making a list of all your current beliefs about yourself and about how much you think people like you. Write down your beliefs about whether you think you deserve good things in your life or not.
Then, look for which parts of your beliefs are opinions, and which are actual facts.
For example, if you think, “No one could like me.” This is an opinion. You have decided to live as if this opinion was a fact, but it’s not really a fact.
A factual statement would be, “Some people don’t seem to like me, but there are many millions of people in the world. If I keep trying to approach more people in a friendly way, I’ll be more likely to meet people who will like me.”
When you keep reminding yourself which of your beliefs are facts, and which are just your emotional opinions, you will be able to remove many negative beliefs about yourself.
You will be able to substitute more realistic positive beliefs in place of the negative opinions. Your new positive beliefs will help you improve your performance in many areas of your life, including your relationships. You will attract better experiences into your life when you believe you deserve to have a good life.
If you find it really hard to change your negative beliefs to positive ones by yourself, be sure to look for a trained professional therapist who has a good track record of helping people to overcome their negative beliefs.
While you are at this website, be sure to read the many other articles which can help you improve your expectations, your relationships and your self-esteem.
Here is an article by Peter Murphy on the topic of self confidence.
( The above introductory comments were written by Royane Real, author of the special report: “ Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation” which is available at http://www.lulu.com/real )
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The Science of Self-Confidence
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Self Confidence – the 4 Power Secrets
By Peter Murphy
Self confidence is something that many people struggle with.
One reason is that society has built up certain guidelines on how one should look and act. If we do not live up to society’s expectations we may feel a lack of self confidence.
For some people this lack of self confidence affects every aspect of their life. That is why learning to build your own self confidence is important.
The following section explains some reasons why someone may lack self confidence and what to do about them.
1. We are hard on ourselves.
This means that we compare ourselves to others or expect too much from ourselves. It is easy to expect yourself to be something, but sometimes we use impossible standards.
For example, not everyone can look like a super model, so it is useless to expect yourself to be one.
Some people kick themselves for small mistakes because they expect perfection. Letting go of these expectations will go a long way in improving self-confidence.
2. We are negative.
Thinking negative thoughts and displaying negative attitudes make us a negative person. Other people can pick up on this and will do their best to avoid you. This only leads to more poor self confidence.
If you can learn to see the good in things and try to do positive things in your life you will feel better about yourself and in return boost your self-confidence.
3. We focus on what we can not do.
Focusing on what you cannot do only makes you feel bad about yourself. Instead, try to find out what you are good at and excel at it.
This gives you a reason to be proud of yourself and also gives you a reason to go out and meet people that feel the same way. You can gain much self confidence by being proud of your accomplishments.
4. We hate our body.
Recognize that everyone looks different. Even identical twins have something about them that is different. Being different makes us each unique and special. So be happy you do not look like everyone else.
If there is something your really do not like about yourself then change it. Lose weight, get your hair colored or get braces - whatever.
These four simple things can go a long way to boosting your self confidence. The main key to self confidence is learning to love yourself.
If you love yourself then you can be open to others and love them.
Self confidence is basically about being positive and accepting of everyone and everything - including yourself.
Article Source: http://www.1articleworld.com
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at: confidence building
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