By Dr Russell Razzaque
Everyone knows that failure is a part of life. Yet, sometimes we can get so absorbed in the stress of failure that each failure can feel like it is the first time it has ever happened.
Has there ever existed a person on this earth - past or present - who has not experienced failure in their life? Have any of us experienced even a single year in our lives when we have avoided failure of any sort?
Undoubtedly failure leads to inevitable pain and sadness. This comes from the fact that a particular goal we had set ourselves has not been reached. But what we learn, when the sadness becomes particularly deep, is that we had somehow entangled this goal with our own sense of self worth.
If we ever find ourselves becoming too down as a result of a particular set back, what we are being presented with is an opportunity for spiritual self help and deeper growth.
Sometime not reaching a goal in some way feels like it means that we are now less of a person. Spotting this within us can then help transform the failure into a very positive experience because it can be the first step to unpacking the mysteries inside.
Just sitting and allowing ourselves to feel and be with the pain that this failure has generated can be a transformative act in itself, for what we will be feeling then is not just the pain of this particular failure, but we will also be experiencing the pain of troubles and traumas past that have somehow wound up entangled into this particular goal.
We may not know what it is - although, by being patient with our pain, the true nature of the echo may often bubble up to the surface - but the more we are able to stay in touch with the pain, the more we will be growing inside. As a result, over time, the self defeating aspects of our inner world will start to align with our goals
The reason we often fail is that an unconscious part of us is sabotaging our conscious goals.
By using every opportunity we are presented with to access this unconscious pain, we will emerge more whole each time we experience a setback and so more able in future to meet what ever goals we seek. Over time goals will become less self defining and so we will lower the risk of falling over ourselves to achieve it (or tripping ourselves up).
So next time you reach a set back - see it as a self help moment. This is an opportunity for you to connect more deeply with yourself. Listen to your pain and find out what it is telling you about your self esteem and love for yourself.
If any failure can affect that then you know there's more connecting to do with your child within. And that's always true for all of us
Dr Russell Razzaque is a medical doctor & UK based psychiatrist. If you liked this article you may benefit from his online self help program. Sileotherapy teaches self improvement with guided meditation techniques.
Article source: www.submityourarticle.com
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