By Royane Real

Although many of us dream of having happy, fulfilling friendships and relationships, the truth is that sometimes our friendships get yucky.  Sometimes we find ourselves in friendships that are not just boring and unfulfilling, but are downright toxic and unhealthy.

Toxic friendships don’t start out that way.  A friendship, just like a romantic relationship can seem to start out very wonderfully.  We enjoy the other person’s company and we seem to have a lot in common.  We may receive lots of compliments from our new best friend that warm us to our core. 

Yet, over time we start to notice little problems.  The person that we thought would be a wonderful friend starts to let us down a few times.  We might hear that our friend said something about us that was not quite nice.  Instead of getting nice compliments, we start to hear mean little remarks that chip away at our self esteem.  We feel uncomfortable, but we can’t always pinpoint what the problem is.

At first, these little problems in the friendship can be explained away.  A misunderstanding.  A miscommunication.  Your friend says, “I didn’t really mean it”  or “It was a joke”  or “You’re just too sensitive!”

But after a while, these little attacks mount up, and we know that there’s something wrong in the friendship.  How do we react when friendship starts to go bad?

Not very well, in some cases.  When a relationship that we thought we could count on starts to deteriorate, a lot of us don’t realize that we can actually go to the source of the problem and confront it in a non-aggressive way.  Some of us react by fighting.  Some of us go behind the back of our so-called friend and start a little war. 

Some of us just drop our friend with no explanation.

If we are able to confront our friend with our suspicions and our hurts, quite often it is possible to salvage the friendship by clearing up misunderstandings and setting up new relationship rules.  In fact, the friendship might even improve in the future.

If we don’t know how to fix it, or if our friend isn’t interested in trying to fix the problems, the relationship probably has no future

Sometimes, we must mourn the death of the relationship that once was, and move on.

Introductory comments by Royane Real

Author of:  “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends”

Although many of us dream of having happy, fulfilling friendships and relationships, the truth is that sometimes our relationships get yucky.

Toxic friendships don’t start out that way.  A friendship, just like a romantic relationship can seem to start out very wonderfully.  We enjoy the other person’s company and we seem to have a lot in common.  We may receive lots of compliments from our new best friend that warm us to our core.

Yet, over time we start to notice little problems.  The person that we thought would be a wonderful friend starts to let us down a few times.  We might hear that our friend said something about us that was not quite nice.  Instead of getting nice compliments, we start to get mean little remarks that chip away at our self esteem.  We feel uncomfortable, but we can’t always pinpoint what the problem is.

At first, these little problems in the friendship can be explained away.  A misunderstanding.  A miscommunication.  Your friend says, “I didn’t really mean it”  or “It was a joke”  or “You’re just too sensitive!”

But after a while, these little attacks mount up, and we know that there’s something wrong in the friendship.  How do we react when friendship starts to go bad?

Not very well, in some cases.  When a relationship that we thought we could count on starts to deteriorate, a lot of us don’t realize that we can actually go to the source of the problem and confront it in a non-aggressive way.  Some of us react by fighting, and some of us go behind the back of our so-called friend and start a little war.

Some of us just drop our friend with no explanation.

If we are able to confront our friend with our suspicions and our hurts, quite often it is possible to salvage the friendship by clearing up misunderstandings and setting up new relationship rules.  In fact, the friendship might even improve in the future.

( The above introductory comments were provided by friendship author Royane Real.) 

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Learn to Be Popular - even if You're Shy and Lonely!

By Royane Real

Do you ever with you had a better social life?  Are you tired of being lonely?  Perhaps you suffer from shyness and you wish you could learn how to be outgoing and popular.

My popular book “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends”  will teach you everything you need to know about how to make friends.  Where to find them.  How to start up conversations with people you don't know very well.  How to get over your shyness.

You'll learn how to keep a conversation going.  You'll find out what to do to keep a friendship strong and make it last.  

Isn't it time to stop being on the outside looking in?  Now is the time and here is your opportunity to change your life from one of being lonely to one of being popular. 

Testimonial from a happy reader :

"Some other authors will charge you way more for self help programs that won't be written as good as this one, but this one is packed with information and is worth every penny." Testimonial by Niko Sekuloski, Detroit

Learn more about this exciting book that can change your life forever  “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends” at  http://www.lulu.com/real     

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