Royane Real
Reviving a Lost Friendship
By Francis K. Githinji
Introductory comments by Royane Real
Author of "Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends, and Keeping Friends.
Although many of us cherish the idea of making friends for life, it often happens that some of our friendships fall away, for one reason or another.
To some extent this is normal. People move and people change. We lose track of each other, and we lose touch. Sometimes we lose interest in some of our friends, and sometimes our friends lose interest in us.
Sometimes, we fight, and we can’t patch it up.
As the author Francis K Githinji mentions in the following article about lost friendship, a very common cause why friendships drift apart is because people change.
This is especially true if the two people involved don’t see each other very often. When you see each other often, you can keep each other fully informed about the things you are doing and the things you think about.
The fact that you are both exploring some new ideas in your life can actually be a source of deepening friendship and understanding if you make the effort to discuss your changes frequently. However, if you lack the opportunities to keep each other posted about your lives, you may both change so quickly that you become strangers to each other.
When is it worth trying to revive a lost friendship, and when is it better just to let a friend go?
There are no hard and fast rules. Trying to reconcile with a lost friend can be painful, and there are no guarantees that you will succeed. On the other hand, losing a friend for life is painful as well.
If your friend is really important to you, it will be helpful to truly understand how much of the blame in the lost friendship is really your own fault. Can you admit the fault was yours and ask your friend to forgive you?
If the problem for the lost friendship is mostly the other person’s fault, are you able to truly forgive them, and put the problem behind you?
The above introductory commentary about renewing a friendship gone bad is written by Royane Real, author of Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends, and Keeping Friends.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Feature article
A friendship can be lost for many reasons.
Some lost friendships are not always worth reviving and, it will depend on the clear circumstances as to what led to the breakup.
The following are some of the common reasons for lost friendships.
First, you might find yourself contrasting with your friend in everything. This is because you have nothing in common. Many times, in such a friendship, you will always be proving points to each other until you really confront each other. Apart from a lack of compatibility, there are friends who hurt their comrades badly.
For example, if your friend was lying behind your back and telling you something else, you clearly have nothing to talk about.
For example, many best friends realize that the person they trusted is going out with their boyfriend or girlfriend. This is going too far and there is no friendship in lies. Also, when you realize that their aspirations and values contrast what you believe in, you will definitely part ways.
Lost friendship is worth reviving if several reasons are considered.
First, if you truly feel like you had something deep, that you would want to retain. Lost friendship will be retained if the other party is remorseful and showing great repentance. You can also revive it if you feel like you can really forgive them for what they did.
Many times, you might be the one who is at fault and, if you feel like fighting for the friendship, you can actually get to revive it. Just like in spousal relationships, trust is a very vital component of friendship.
If you feel like you cannot build that trust again, there is no reason in forcing yourself. You must be willing to do what it takes to really make things right. You cannot revive a relationship of friendship single handedly; you need each other.
You need to talk and not just say words but, you need to communicate effectively. Many people who have fallen out of friendships may want to burry their heads in the sand by not confronting issues. You need to know what went wrong.
Reviving a lost friendship will need to be tempered with lots of forgiveness and seasoned with sincere concern and affection.
You might also need to cry together in a bid to rekindle what you had in the beginning. Without a doubt, if you are both willing to put the past behind you, you can recreate a new relationship that can be even better.
Sometimes, minor conflicts might cause a breakup of friendship. It is upon you to know the reasons and to be more careful not to hurt each other in the future. Friends fall out all the time but look for time to reconcile and move on.
The best thing is to give it your best before you give up. All relationships will have problems but, it is the manner in which you deal with the problems that you get to share pieces of life together with your friends. Look back to your differences and laugh about them; this is how you move on to greater levels in friendships.
Francis K. Githinji is an online dating expert. His latest project Free Online Dating Service shows how the power of online dating can be harnessed internationally and with great success, or you could post your valued comments on his blog at Dating And Relationships Magazine.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Learn the secrets of making friends - and keeping friends!
By Royane Real
Do you ever with you had a better social life? Are you tired of being lonely? Perhaps you suffer from shyness and you wish you could learn how to be outgoing and popular.
My popular book “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends” will teach you everything you need to know about how to make friends. Where to find them. How to keep them. When to stay in a friendship, and when to leave.
You'll find out what to do to keep a friendship strong and make it last.
Isn't it time to stop being on the outside looking in? Now is the time and here is your opportunity to change your life from one of being lonely to one of being popular.
Testimonial from a happy reader :
"Some other authors will charge you way more for self help programs that won't be written as good as this one, but this one is packed with information and is worth every penny." Testimonial by Niko Sekuloski, Detroit
Learn more about this exciting book that can change your life forever “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends” at http://www.lulu.com/real
Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites
