By Royane Real

Author of  “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends”

Do you want to have more friends, but you don’t know where to start?  Do you wish you had a more satisfying social life?  Do you envy those who know how to make friends and keep them?  Do you wish you knew the secret of their success?

People who easily make and keep a lot of friends are different from people who are shy and lonely in several important ways.  Socially successful people have different behaviors, and they have different attitudes towards others.

The good news is that you can learn a lot of these more successful attitudes and behaviors, once you learn the secrets of those who are more socially successful.

One major difference between people who make a lot of friends, and people who find it more difficult to form new relationships is that socially successful people have a very welcoming, positive attitude towards most of the new people they meet.  They give them the benefit of the doubt right from the beginning of the relationship.  They don’t instantly start to forn negative opinions of others as soon as they meet them.

When you first meet someone new, do you tend to like most of the people you meet?

Or do you find that you usually dislike the majority of people when you first meet them? 

When you meet someone, do you find yourself looking for flaws about the other person? 

Do you mentally criticize every thing the other person says, and the way they are dressed?  Do you look for reasons in your mind to explain why you don’t really like them, and why they aren’t really good relationship material for you?

If you have a tendency to mentally criticize new people when you first meet them, this  mental attitude will guarantee that you will end up having very few friends in your life and your social life will be very unsatisfactory. 

If you have a critical mental attitude towards most other people, it will probably guarantee that you’ll spend a lot of your time alone and lonely.

Now you may think to yourself, “Of course I have a right to criticize others when I meet them.  I have to maintain high standards about who I will get close to.  There’s nothing wrong with that.”

If you enjoy being lonely, then feel free to keep this attitude.

But if you discover that you are very critical of others and you are also very lonely, realize that there may be a connection between your critical attitude and your lack of a satisfying social life.

If you really want to know the number one attitude secret that you must have in order to have a lot more friends and a better social life, the secret is this:  Like Other People!

If you don’t like most people when you first meet them, chances are that they will sense it from you and will want to avoid you.  You can’t create a good impression on somebody if they sense that you are mentally disapproving of them

If you don’t like most people when you meet them, you will be less inclined to be open and friendly when you meet them.  You won’t make any initiative to get to know them better. You may even avoid opportunities to know them better.

Every person that you dislike will automatically be excluded from the pool of people who can become your friends.

Wouldn’t it be easier and more effective to give everyone a break?  Give yourself a break and give other people a break.  Assume that most of the people you encounter are nice and have good intentions.

If this hasn’t been your attitude so far, you can work to change it.

Create within yourself the habit of actively looking for things you can like and admire in each person you meet.  Every person on this planet is a universe of interesting possibilities.  Everyone is a complex mixture of some good and bad qualities, that change with every situation.

Now it’s true that there are times when we feel there is something dangerous or unpleasant or dishonest about a person we have just met.  That can be a a genuine warning sign that we should pay attention to.

But it’s very likely that the majority of people we meet probably aren’t dangerous.  The dangerous people we should avoid are a tiny minority of the people we meet.

If you find yourself disliking the majority of people that you meet, you are probably being too hard on everybody.  You’re probably using some unrealistic ways of harshly judging others.

And you may be depriving yourself of many people who could possibly become good friends or romantic partners..

Unless you’re really certain that someone you’ve met is unpleasant or dangerous, make a decision to look for something to admire and enjoy in the person you’ve met.  

Instead of automatically looking for things you dislike about others, make the new habit of looking for things you can like about them.  You can even pretend to yourself that you like this person and that you are already friends.  This can help you turn off your previous  automatic negative thought patterns.

If you enjoy and respect most of the people you meet, you have a far better chance of having a happy social life. 

When you genuinely like other people, they will be much more inclined to like you back.

This is one of the most important friendship secrets you need to know if you want to know how to make friends and keep them.

This article is written by friendship expert Royane Real

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Learn to Be Popular - even if You're Shy and Lonely!

By Royane Real

Do you ever with you had a better social life?  Are you tired of being lonely?  Perhaps you suffer from shyness and you wish you could learn how to be outgoing and popular.

My popular book “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends”  will teach you everything you need to know about how to make friends.  Where to find them.  How to start up conversations with people you don't know very well.  How to get over your shyness.

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Make Yourself Unforgettable

Become the kind of person EVERYONE remembers and NO ONE can resist!

By Dale Carnegie Training

You’ll find that people in every area of your life — from work to home and everywhere in between — respond to you more positively and generously than they ever have before! 

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