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By Peter Murphy
Introduction by Royane Real
Author of “How to Overcome Your Shyness and Your Fear of Rejection”
A fear of being rejected seems to rule the lives of many people, particularly those who are shy, or who suffer from poor self esteem. This fear of rejection makes it difficult to have friends, and it can even interfere with making simple conversation with other people.
One common reason that many people have difficulty making conversation with others is because they spend a lot of time worrying about what their conversation partner is thinking about them.
For a person who suffers from this type of fear or anxiety, the prospect that someone might reject you is absolutely overwhelming. Once the fear of rejection takes root in your mind, it seems to take over your brain. It gnaws away at the pit of your stomach. You can hardly think of anything else.
As you can imagine, you can't really care out a successful conversation when part of you is overwhelmed with worries that you are going to be rejected.
If you are affected by the problem of worrying that you are going to be rejected, you will find it really hard to make conversation with others and it will be hard to make new friends easily.
However, a fear of rejection can actually be overcome, or greatly reduced.
It will take a bit of courage on your part, some knowledge, and a willingness to work on this problem. You will need to look at some of the deeper ways that you think about yourself, and the ways that you talk to yourself. Then you will have to replace your faulty ways of talking to yourself and find ways to support yourself in your efforts to communicate with others.
In the following article by Peter Murphy you can learn new ways to improve your confidence and deal with rejection fears.
In this article you can learn some of the thinking techniques that can help you reprogram your mind so that you have a more realistic belief about the possibility of being rejected by another person.
These introductory comments are by Royane Real.
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By Royane Real
Do you ever with you had a better social life? Are you tired of being lonely? Perhaps you suffer from shyness and you wish you could learn how to be outgoing and popular.
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Feature article:
Say Adios to the Fear of Rejection!
By Peter Murphy
Do you ever get an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach when you have to approach someone?
In situations like this does your mind go blank?
This is not unusual. That feeling is often the fear of rejection.
When you feel afraid your emotions take over, you feel tense and your ability to think logically vanishes into thin air.
And that is why you can talk to close friends without a care in the world but never know what to say when you meet new people. i.e. emotions cloud your thinking.
What is the answer to this challenge?
You need to take charge of the fear of rejection:
1. Imagine the worst case scenario.
Run it through in your mind. How will you handle rejection if it does happen?
Our fears often take on a life of their own. However when you can stop for a moment and plan in advance, whatever does happen is usually not so bad after all.
Once you accept this you will feel more relaxed and better able to deal with what does happen.
2. Decide what rejection means
When we react emotionally to rejection we can usually come up with some awful reasons why people reject us, such as:
People dislike me
I am a failure
I am not worthy of their approval
I am not good with people
These limiting thoughts are only making things worse for you. And the strange thing is that only you can choose what rejection means for you.
Meaning is a choice, so why not choose more empowering meanings? Such as:
I need to change my approach
I can get better by learning a better way
He is having a bad day and is too busy to talk
Decide what rejection really means before it happens and you will feel a lot better about yourself if it does happen.
Like I always say...
Knowing what to say is not just a matter of what words to speak, that is only the tip of the iceberg, ninety per cent of the solution depends on you taking charge of your emotional and mental states.
When you do this you will be able to talk to anyone you meet with the same ease you talk to close friends.
One final point...
Are these techniques designed to be used once? No!
These strategies will in time become part of who you are and how you live. Like any skill the more you use them the better you will get.
Aim to improve slightly each and everyday and you will make huge progress in the coming weeks and months. As long as you make it a daily habit.
Doing a little now and again and expecting rapid progress is like exercising once a month and expecting to be slim and fit.
Aim for steady, gradual improvement and you will grow even faster than you expect!
About The Author
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
Article source: http://www.yourarticleshop.com
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