By: Peter Murphy 

Introductory comments by Royane Real

Author of    “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends”

We often spend more time with our co-workers than we spend with our families.  So, it’s important that we are able to get along with the people at work.  We need to co-operate on our work projects and it’s good to have a friendly, harmonious atmosphere in the workplace.

Sometimes the people we work with are not always friendly or sociable.  Some of them are rude, some are insensitive or self absorbed, and some people are withdrawn.  In some instances our coworkers may seem to be unfriendly simpley because they are painfully shy.

It's very common for a shy person to appear to others as if he wants nothing to do with people.  Unfortunately, the shy person's unfriendly behavior may be covering up their inner loneliness.

Not all people who don't want to interact at work are shy.

There are many reasons why a person may appear to be socially withdrawn at work.  A withdrawn, unfriendly person may be suffering from depression.  They may simply lack social skills and don't know how to start up a conversation or keep it going.  It's possible that they have a mild form of autistic spectrum behaviour called Asperger’s syndrome. 

Or they may simply be insensitive, arrogant jerks who think they are too good to associate with anyone else.

Not every withdrawn person will respond to your overtures of friendliness, but you may discover that the person you have befriended will become more outgoing and friendly because of your willingness to talk to them.  You may even make a lasting friend.

If some of your coworkers are unfriendly, or if they seem to avoid interactions with other people, should you try to befriend them?

In some cases it may be worth your while. You may find that if you try to befriend them, they will blossom under your attention.

For many of us, the workplace is one of our best and most reliable sources for creating new friendships.  After all, the workplace is where many of us spend eight hours a day, five days a week.  We talk and interact with a variety of other people as we work together to get our jobs done.

Very often, the friendships we make at work can carry over into our private lives.  We may meet some of our workplace friends after the work day is done, for a drink or a dinner or a movie.  We might join some of them for a softball game on the weekend or invite a few of them to a party at our house.   Some of our friendships that start in the workplace can last for decades.

The following article by Peter Murphy discusses more aspects of dealing with shy people in the workplace.

( The introductory comments which appear above are by Royane Real )

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Learn to Be Popular - even if You're Shy and Lonely!

By Royane Real

Do you ever with you had a better social life?  Are you tired of being lonely?  Perhaps you suffer from shyness and you wish you could learn how to be outgoing and popular.

My popular book “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends”  will teach you everything you need to know about how to make friends.  Where to find them.  How to start up conversations with people you don't know very well.  How to get over your shyness.

You'll learn how to keep a conversation going.  You'll find out what to do to keep a friendship strong and make it last.  

Isn't it time to stop being on the outside looking in?  Now is the time and here is your opportunity to change your life from one of being lonely to one of being popular. 

Testimonial from a happy reader :

"Some other authors will charge you way more for self help programs that won't be written as good as this one, but this one is packed with information and is worth every penny." Testimonial by Niko Sekuloski, Detroit

Learn more about this exciting book that can change your life forever  “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends” at  http://www.lulu.com/real     

Feature article:

Super Tips for Overcoming Shyness in the Workplace

By: Peter Murphy

You probably know someone in the workplace who has a problem with shyness.

You know them - the introvert who never leaves his cubicle and even takes snacks and his lunch there. Some people are so shy that they opt to take heavier and heavier loads of paperwork as their quota in the office, because this gives them an excuse not to interact with superiors and colleagues (or at least not as often.)

Others express their shyness by just nodding quickly at co-workers as they pass by or avoiding making eye contact altogether. Such people get unfairly labeled as the office weirdos when in fact they are simply painfully shy.

What are the best approaches for overcoming shyness in the workplace?

A manager who notices that one of his employees is quite shy should make an effort to draw him into group meetings and discussions. Do not worry - involving him more deeply into group interaction is good for him. Ask his opinion about office problems and issues, even in front of co-workers.

This will show him that you value his input. You may be surprised how much such a shy person can contribute, given the chance.

At simple gatherings, such as when the staff takes a break to go to the cafeteria for lunch, try inviting the shy employee to your table for lunch. He may seem surprised at the offer, and even hesitate, but if it is the boss who asks, who can refuse? The employee will become more confident because of the attention and honor being shown to him.

A manager with a really introverted staffer can ask other people in the same department - particularly the nice, approachable ones - to help by also approaching the shy employee.

They could invite their shy colleague to a weekend out with the rest of the staff. Some companies deliberately encourage their employees to form sports teams like softball and touch football teams that allow everyone to become weekend warriors. This gives people who are otherwise preoccupied with work from Monday to Friday to get to know one another better in their leisure time.

Effects of shyness:

Shyness is one cause of underemployment, or the state when a person is employed at a rank lower than his capabilities. This is because shy people give the impression that they are not capable of much more than the expectations of that low position. A shy person who wants to move up in the organization may find his shyness to be a barrier to promotion.

For example, if he wants to go up to the boss and ask for a raise or to be given a better job, he may discover himself to be tongue-tied and lose his nerve. Or he may think so poorly of his credentials and capabilities that he finds it difficult to promote himself as being the right person for the job he secretly eyes.

To be successful in overcoming shyness in the workplace, the shy person must be able to get the sympathy of people he works with. This will make it easier for him to overcome shyness.

Article Source: http://www.articletap.com

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at: conversation starters   

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