By Thea Westra

Introductory comments by Royane Real

Author of “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends”

Do you make time to see your friends?  To stay in touch with them? 

If you don’t, it might be because you’re too busy.  But it might also be because you're too lazy, too disorganized, or you just don't care enough.

Some of us find it hard to stay in touch with old friends, and even with current friends. 

If you live in a small place where it’s easy to get around, you might be able to see your friends every week or even more often.  On the other hand, people who live in big busy cities might need to book appointments to have lunch or coffee with their friends at least a month in advance.

The trouble is that most relationships, and that includes most friendships, need a lot of face to face time.  We can only exchange the most basic communication when all we have time for is sending a few emails or making a few phone calls. 

Friendships work a lot better when we can share more of our journey with each other, in a personal way. 

When we start to neglect making time for our friendships, it’s quite possible we might lose them.

It will be easier to maintain your relationships if you make a commitment to have some sort of contact on a regular basis.  Otherwise, your relationship could become a victim or the “out of sight, out of mind” syndrome. 

You will lose the closeness and support of someone who might have stayed a valued friend if only you had made more of an effort to stay in touch.

In the following article by Thea Westra, the author shares some techniques that you can use to keep your contact list of friends current.  If your contact information is up to date, you will find it easier to stay in touch with those people you still want to include in your life.

Since it appears that this article was written before the advent of new social network sites like Facebook, the author does not mention them in her article.  If you want to keep in touch with your friends and your acquaintances, use every method at your disposal.

( The introductory comments which appear above are by Royane Real, friendship expert )

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Learn to Be Popular - even if You're Shy and Lonely!

By Royane Real

Do you ever with you had a better social life?  Are you tired of being lonely?  Perhaps you suffer from shyness and you wish you could learn how to be outgoing and popular.

My popular book “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends”  will teach you everything you need to know about how to make friends.  Where to find them.  How to start up conversations with people you don't know very well.  How to get over your shyness.

You'll learn how to keep a conversation going.  You'll find out what to do to keep a friendship strong and make it last.  

Isn't it time to stop being on the outside looking in?  Now is the time and here is your opportunity to change your life from one of being lonely to one of being popular. 

Testimonial from a happy reader :

"Some other authors will charge you way more for self help programs that won't be written as good as this one, but this one is packed with information and is worth every penny." Testimonial by Niko Sekuloski, Detroit

Learn more about this exciting book that can change your life forever  “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends” at  http://www.lulu.com/real     

By Thea Westra

“When someone's character seems impossible to fathom, observe his friends.” (Japanese proverb)

“A friend is a person with whom I may be honest. Before him, I may think aloud” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

“If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?” (Stephen Levine)

The people in our lives give us our greatest pleasure and/or pain. In what condition is each of your relationships?

Do you have people on lists with whom you rarely make contact, if ever?

Are there people to whom you’re grateful and yet you have not spent a moment to truly thank them?

Are there cards or brief notes you could be sending, just to say hello?

What could you put in place today as a certain reminder to contact each of the people in your life regularly?

How will you contact friends, colleagues and family on a regular basis – telephone, visit, e-mail, letter or card?

Does your diary include a regular time segment for catching up with the people in your life?

Does this section of your weekly diary specifically list whom you will contact, how and when you will contact them and for what purpose are you contacting them e.g. social, business networking, to say thank you, birthday greeting?

What kinds of conversations do you have with each of the people on your contact lists?

Are they conversations that mend, build or break down the relationships?

Are all your contact lists up to date and current?

Spend a day to have your contact information lists uncluttered.

Archive the contact details of people you rarely contact or have no desire to contact.

If the archived list has not been used in twelve months then purge that information.

Then, make sure that this task is scheduled in your diary for a date twelve months from now!

This could be an ideal opportunity to get in touch with everyone you want. Why wait till Christmas or next birthday?

Send everyone a brief communication letting them know of your intention to update you contact lists and ask them to provide you names of people in their household & their relationship to them, address, telephone for work & home, mobile telephone, fax, e-mail and all household member’s birthdates.

In this same communication provide them with the details of all your contact information.

It would also be generous and expedient to provide them a return stamped envelope.

Then as they come in, go to it!

Create an effective structure for holding and maintaining this information so that it consistently is used by you.

If you save this kind of information on computer, make sure that it regularly is backed up to disk.

If it is on paper then make sure you have a photocopy stored elsewhere in a safe place.

A couple of good sites to try out are www.classmates.com, www.schoolfriends.com.au and www.newfriends.com

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