By Royane Real

One of the most difficult experiences that can affect a friendship is when one of the people involved suffers from a deep case of depression. 

For anyone who hasn’t experienced it, deep depression is a mystery.  A person who has never been deeply depressed may not understand how much depression changes the way a person acts and feels.

The depressed person can seem to change personality in a matter of a few weeks.  In place of someone who used to be happy and outgoing, there is a person who is withdrawn and  uncommunicative.  They may not want to go out any more.  They may not want to see you or talk to you. Trying to communicate with a person who is severely depressed can seem almost impossible.

When one of the people in a friendship becomes deeply depressed, it is hard for the other person to know what to do.  Too often, we think we have to be extra cheerful, and try to tell the other person they have nothing to be depressed about.  Unfortunately, this approach does not work.  

What is depression?  All of us feel sad or blue occasionally, but a true clinical depression is quite different from simply feeling blue.  Ordinary sadness is usually related to some event that has happened, such as the loss of a job or the death of a loved one.  In most cases, normal sadness will go away in a few weeks.

Clinical depression however, lasts a lot longer, and it may not be related to anything that has happened.  When people become depressed, they may feel sad, or they may feel completely empty. 

This state feels absolutely horrible.  Nothing gives depressed people pleasure any more, not friends or loved ones, and not the activities they formerly enjoyed.  Depressed people often withdraw from their friends, yet they may insist that they are okay, that nothing is wrong.

They probably believe that nobody else in the world can understand them, so they think there is no point in trying to communicate with anyone.

Although depressed people often feel all alone and misunderstood, they also don’t want to spend time with other people.  Depressed people often stop doing the activities that they previously enjoyed, and they stop spending time with friends.  In fact, a withdrawal from friends and activities is one of the common signs of depression. 

If you have a friend who suffers from depression, don’t tell your friend to just snap out of it.  Don’t tell your friend that they have nothing to be depressed about.  This will only drive your friend away.  Clinical depression is a form of illness.  It’s as real as heart disease.   

You can’t tell a person to snap out of a depression any more than you could tell a person to snap out of having heart disease or cancer.

If you have a friend who is depressed, it can be hard to know what to do.  You probably want to be supportive, but you may also get tired of your friend always being so down. 

You may feel worn out, yet feel guilty about deserting your depressed friend. 

In many cases, the best thing you can do is to try to get your depressed friend to get some professional help.  Don’t think that you have to become your depressed friend’s therapist. 

Serious depression should be treated by an experienced professional therapist.  Several forms of talk therapy, such as cognitive therapy can help with depression.  Sometimes prescribed medication can be an effective treatment for depression.

In the meantime try to keep the lines of communication open with your friend.  You don’t need to try to cheer up your friend or tell them they have nothing to be depressed about.  That won’t work anyway.  Just keep calling them to remind them that you are there, and that you care. 

Offer to meet them for small social outings.  Don’t try to make big social plans, and don’t take it personally if your friend turns you down.  While they are in the grips of a depression, their brain won’t be functioning in a normal way.

There are better treatments today for depression than there have ever been, and in many cases people are able to recover completely from depression in a few months.

If you keep in contact with your friend, it’s quite possible that when the depression finally ends, your friendship may be stronger than ever.

This article was written by Royane Real - author of "Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends"  

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Learn to Be Popular - even if You're Shy and Lonely!

By Royane Real

Do you ever with you had a better social life?  Are you tired of being lonely?  Perhaps you suffer from shyness and you wish you could learn how to be outgoing and popular.

My popular book “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends”  will teach you everything you need to know about how to make friends.  Where to find them.  How to start up conversations with people you don't know very well.  How to get over your shyness.

You'll learn how to keep a conversation going.  You'll find out what to do to keep a friendship strong and make it last.  

Isn't it time to stop being on the outside looking in?  Now is the time and here is your opportunity to change your life from one of being lonely to one of being popular. 

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Learn more about this exciting book that can change your life forever  “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends” at  http://www.lulu.com/real     

 

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