By Royane Real

Author of :  “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends"

Human beings are social creatures.  For most of us, feeling isolated and alone can be almost unbearable, especially if this situation lasts a long time and you don't know how to change it. 

Here are some common types of situations that can lead to a feeling of being lonely, as well as some suggestions that can help to overcome a lack of friendship and human connection.

Situation:  You have just broken up with someone that you thought was your soul mate and now you feel devastated and alone. 

Or, a person who was a very big part of your emotional life for many years has just died.  You feel completely empty and you don’t know how you can possibly go on.

When you have experienced a devastating emotional loss, you will need to take time to grieve.  Everyone grieves in their own way.  Some people take a long time to recover, whereas some people seem to bounce back quickly.

During the initial stages of grief, you can’t imagine ever feeling happy again.  You feel a deep void within yourself, and you don’t think it will ever be filled.  You might feel a depth of loneliness that you never knew existed. Even when you are around other people, you feel alone in your grief.  Continue to make an effort to be around others, even if your heart doesn’t seem to be in it.  If your loneliness lasts longer than a few months, you may benefit from getting some professional help in getting over your grief.

Situation:  You have just moved to a new place where you don’t know anybody.  Loneliness can be especially intense if you have moved to a new place where the language and customs are unfamiliar to you.  You feel like you don’t fit in, and you may not know how to go about making new friends in this place.

It’s normal to feel lonely for the first few months after you have moved to a new place.  It will take time to start meeting new people and making new friends.  When you move to a new place, you will have to work extra hard to meet new people.  You will have to go to many places where you are likely to meet people that you might be compatible with, and you will have to make an extra effort to be more outgoing and approachable.  If you don’t have a job right away, one way to meet new friends quickly is to join a support group or volunteer for a cause that you are passionate about. 

Situation:  You have very few friends because your behaviour to others is often quite rude and obnoxious.  Even though you know that your behaviour is obnoxious, you take pride in refusing to change.  You insist that other people simply have to accept you as you are.  You tell yourself and other people that you are just being your true self, by not giving in to the phony demands of society. 

When you deliberately refuse to change obnoxious behaviour, even though this behaviour is keeping you isolated and lonely, you are actually trying to keep people from getting to know you.  Your real fear is that others would reject you if they truly knew you.  You have talked yourself into believing that it will be less painful if people reject you because of your behaviour, which you can control.  Your refusal to change is based in fear, and not because you are trying to be your true self.

Even if you feel that you are rude because most other people deserve your contempt, the truth is that you are simply afraid.  Deep down, you may feel that you are the one who isn’t good enough.  You will need to improve your own self esteem as well as the way that you relate to others.

In some cases, overcoming loneliness can be a simple matter of making more of an effort to be friendly.  Sometimes overcoming loneliness will take a commitment of many years and much soul searching in order to change the habits of a lifetime.

This article was written by Royane Real.  Would you like to receive my free, no obligation self improvement newsletter in your mailbox?  Just sign up on the left of this article.  You can unsubscribe at any time!

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Learn to Be Popular - even if You're Shy and Lonely!

By Royane Real

Do you ever with you had a better social life?  Are you tired of being lonely?  Perhaps you suffer from shyness and you wish you could learn how to be outgoing and popular.

My popular book “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends”  will teach you everything you need to know about how to make friends.  Where to find them.  How to start up conversations with people you don't know very well.  How to get over your shyness.

You'll learn how to keep a conversation going.  You'll find out what to do to keep a friendship strong and make it last.  

Isn't it time to stop being on the outside looking in?  Now is the time and here is your opportunity to change your life from one of being lonely to one of being popular. 

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Learn more about this exciting book that can change your life forever  “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends” at  http://www.lulu.com/real     

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Make Yourself Unforgettable

Become the kind of person EVERYONE remembers and NO ONE can resist!

By Dale Carnegie Training

You’ll find that people in every area of your life — from work to home and everywhere in between — respond to you more positively and generously than they ever have before! 

Discover more information at this link:                                                           http://nightingale.directtrack.com/z/10542/CD1323/ 

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