For A Friendship To Last A Lifetime
By: Julia Tanner
Introductory comments
By Royane Real
Author of “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends”
Those of us who have good, close friendships should always remember how lucky we are. We should never take our close friendships for granted.
It is all too easy to let a friendship lapse because of neglect or carelessness. Even worse, close friends can sometimes be driven apart because of a cruel remark said in a moment of temporary anger. The resulting loss of a friend can last a lifetime. Sometimes friendships fail because the relationship hits a patch where every interaction between the two people becomes difficult and strained, and the people involved don’t know how to fix it.
If you are lucky enough to have a good friendship, what are you going to do to keep that friendship new and exciting? What will you do to be sure that bad elements don’t enter your friendship to destroy it?
You can’t do anything to force your friend to work on the relationship, but you can do your own part to keep your friendship healthy.
Here are some tips for you to do this:
Never assume that someone who is your long term friend must help you every time you ask for a favor. Ask respectfully, but realize that they have every right to turn you down on some occasions. If your friend sometimes says “No” to you, don’t use this as a reason to become angry and bitter towards them.
Don’t let resentments fester. You may believe that your friendship can never survive if you start revealing that sometimes you feel annoyed or resentful. However, if you don’t occasionally discuss your disagreements, the relationship may end up exploding into a million pieces over some trivial event.
Be respectful of your friend as a separate individual at all times. Don’t assume they must agree with you about everything. Don’t reveal secrets about your friend that were told to you in confidence.
For a friendship to endure, there must be an ongoing balance between the two individuals.
A friendship won’t work if one person is always the helper, and the other person is always the helpee. If such a situation exists, there is a deep imbalance in the roles between the two individuals. If you don’t feel that your friend will be there to help you as often as you are there to help him, eventually that relationship will probably fail.
The following article which is by Julia Tanner offers some more suggestions to help you keep your relationships with your friends healthy.
( The introductory comments which appear above are by Royane Real )
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Feature article
For A Friendship To Last A Lifetime
By: Julia Tanner
Make friendship a priority. Try to make more time for friends. Friends are chapters of our lives that we share ourselves with, making our lives more complete and filled with color and meaning.
Note the little things. Standing by your friends during a difficult times is important. But seemingly small acts of caring are what keeps friendships going. A good friend cares a lot, and is sensitive to the needs of the other.
Risk being yourself. There comes a time in all friendships when you must open up and express your deepest feelings. Let your friend know what you think and how you feel and how you are going through a certain situation. Friends have ears to listen to what you will say and they can lend you a shoulder to cry on.
Accept differences. You have got to have enough in common so that you will understand each other and enough difference so that there is something to be shared and exchanged.
Do not keep score of wrongs. When you forgot about settling your issues, do not pin point who has faults. Better try to settle everything by taking time to talk to each other, giving each other the chance to explain his or her side. Be more giving. The more you give, the more you make more friends.
Laugh with your friends. They say that laughter is the best medicine. Laughter can brighten a friend's day and can even bring friends closer. A short joke for the day can lighten up a friend's moment even just for minutes.
Let your friends be generous. It may be better or best to give, but it is also good to receive. In a friendship it is better to let your friends know that you also need them as much as they need you. Just as you feel very happy to help a friend of yours, try to give them a chance to help you. Because a friend in need is a friend indeed.
Remember that being a friend is not only sharing life in just good times. Being a true friend takes making sacrifices and making compromises. Not only that, you laugh together. Shedding tears together, and being reliable to your friends is very important.
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