By Royane Real

I was inspired to write my book   “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends”  because I had a lot of personal experience with loneliness, and I spent many years learning how to make friends. 

There are several people in my own family who were very lonely and didn’t know how to make close friends.  Because I grew up in this environment, I was also very lonely as I was growing up.  There was nobody who could teach me how to socialize. 

I had to learn the hard way how to make friends and how to keep friendships going.  All that I have learned on this topic is revealed in my book as well as in the many articles on this website.  

Because of my interest in overcoming loneliness, I have spent a lot of time observing how other people make friends.  I have watched the techniques and attitudes of those people who are very popular and who have many friends. 

I have also watched the techniques and attitudes of those people who have no friends and who are very lonely.

Here are some of the things I have learned about those people who have a hard time making friends.

There are many different reasons why some people don’t have a lot of friends.  You can’t put all lonely people into the same category and claim that all lonely people are alike.

Some people are lonely because they have no social skills.  A lack of social skills may be a result of growing up in a family where the parents don’t have any social skills or emotional skills to truly nurture a developing child.  This can lead to long term difficulties in establishing close relationships with others.

Another reason why some people are lonely and have few friends is because they are introverted.  Being introverted isn’t a bad thing, and it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you. 

Being introverted doesn’t mean that you hate people.  Being introverted means that you get a lot of comfort and pleasure out of being alone because you have a very rich inner life in your mind.  If you are an introvert, you will enjoy being with other people for a while, but then you start to long for a period of quiet time when you can just be with yourself.

A person who is an introvert is often misunderstood by the people around him, and he may be labeled “anti-social”.  However, true introverts don’t dislike others.  They just really, really enjoy their time alone.

A common reason for people having few friends is because they are very shy.  Being shy is often confused with being introverted, yet the two qualities are very different. 

A shy person may want to be around other people, but suffers from intense and agonizing self consciousness, especially when he or she is around new people.  This self consciousness and anxiety may cause them to sweat and blush and stammer.  Their mind may go completely blank so that they are unable to come up with any conversation. 

Because shy people often look so socially awkward, other people may make fun of them.  This ridicule makes the agony of the shy person become even more intense. 

Shyness can often be greatly reduced with the right kind of therapy and with a lot of practice in talking to other people in social situations. 

Some of the people I knew who were very lonely and had poor friends had very unattractive personalities.  They were belligerent and hostile, yet they blamed everyone else around them for their problems instead of looking at themselves.  They were often truly unlikable, yet they had no real desire to change.

Are there any other reasons why some people have few friends?

Yes, there are several more reasons.

Some lonely people suffer from such poor self esteem that they don’t believe that anyone else could like them.  They don’t have the confidence to approach other people socially.

Some people are lonely because they are suffering from depression.  Severe depression often makes people withdraw from the friends they used to enjoy.

Many of these causes for loneliness can be overcome.  In some cases, loneliness can be overcome by making more of an effort to learn and practice social skills.

In other cases, the right kind of psychotherapy can help the lonely person make more friends.

This article is written by Royane Real, author of “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends” 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Learn to Be Popular - even if You're Shy and Lonely!

By Royane Real

Do you ever with you had a better social life?  Are you tired of being lonely?  Perhaps you suffer from shyness and you wish you could learn how to be outgoing and popular.

My popular book “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends”  will teach you everything you need to know about how to make friends.  Where to find them.  How to start up conversations with people you don't know very well.  How to get over your shyness.

You'll learn how to keep a conversation going.  You'll find out what to do to keep a friendship strong and make it last.  

Isn't it time to stop being on the outside looking in?  Now is the time and here is your opportunity to change your life from one of being lonely to one of being popular. 

Testimonial from a happy reader :

"Some other authors will charge you way more for self help programs that won't be written as good as this one, but this one is packed with information and is worth every penny." Testimonial by Niko Sekuloski, Detroit

Learn more about this exciting book that can change your life forever  “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends” at  http://www.lulu.com/real     

Make Yourself Unforgettable

Become the kind of person EVERYONE remembers and NO ONE can resist!

By Dale Carnegie Training

You’ll find that people in every area of your life — from work to home and everywhere in between — respond to you more positively and generously than they ever have before! 

Discover more information at this link:                                                           http://nightingale.directtrack.com/z/10542/CD1323/ 

---

Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites