Building Wonderful Friendships
By: Hyacinth Fraser
Introductory comments by Royane Real
Author of “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends”
Friendships are complex relationships that come in layers.
With some relationships, no matter how many times we encounter that person, nothing happens. There is no spark there. We don’t care whether or not we see them again.
Yet with other people, people who may be male or female, people who may be younger than we are, or much older, we sense a special presence. When we are with that person, we feel happy. We know they are glad to see us.
If we are lucky, the friendship deepens over time. Each encounter we have with that person adds to the tapestry of our relationship with them.
When we have a good friendship, we feel happy to do nice things for that person. They do nice things for us. We talk together freely without embarrassment. We want to share ourselves, knowing that the other person can be trusted. We trust them with our truest selves.
So much of the earlier stages of trying to make friends are based on looking for common ground in our discussions. We say, “What school did you go to?” Then we reply, “I did too!” We ask “What is your favorite color?” “Isn’t that a great coincidence, red is my favorite color too!”
No wonder people get so impatient with small talk. On some level, we want the other person to like us, or to love us. We want them to realize that we are special. We want that special connection to come right away, with no risk and no effort.
We want to get to the good part of the relationship, whether it is a dating situation, or a neighbor whose company we enjoy. We often ache for a relationship that is caring and comfortable, where we feel safe and appreciated. We get tired of trying so hard to make friends, and finding so few that we consider true soul mates.
The following article by Hyacinth Fraser gives many ideas you can use to make your good friendships better, deeper. Some of these suggestions are easy to implement, some are hard.
But if you start to use them, and your friend reciprocates, these gestures will make the friendship take on a new dimension of kindness and caring.
( The above introductory comments were written by Royane Real )
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Feature article:
Building Wonderful Friendships
By: Hyacinth Fraser
1. Keep your friends in mind and ask them how you can help them.
2. Listen to friends in their hour of need and listen to them anyway.
3. Check with them on a regular basis; find out how they are doing.
4. Asking about the welfare of friends children is a wonderful way to be a great friend.
5. Be open and honest.
6. Sit with them in silence when that is what they need most.
7. Be accepting of friends when they wish to reinvent themselves, after all people rarely stay the same forever and ever.
8. Sometimes friends just need a hand to hold.
9. Send a card of friendship completely out of the blue.
10. Send “thinking about you” texts/emails.
11. Unselfishly thinking of friends' needs.
12. Friendship is about not being scared to let someone know you care.
13. Let harsh words be placed in shifting sand, to disappear almost as quickly as they are aired.
14. Forgiveness.
15. Saying a prayer for a friend, especially when they are not able to say one for themselves.
16. Act playfully in thought and deed.
17. True friendship is taking the rough with the smooth.
18. Trust is integral to a great friendship.
19. Receiving a call in the middle of the night from a distressed friend and doing so willingly with grace and good humor.
20. Friendship is based on kindness and understanding.
21. Time enables friendships to flourish even more deeply.
22. Offer shelter from life’s blistering storms.
23. Heap praise on your friends, it’s a way to help them grow.
24. Friendships are a place where everything can be shared because you know there is no chance of betrayal.
25. Develop a sixth sense about when your friends might be in trouble and make contact with them so they know you are thinking about them.
26. Hold out a higher standard for your friends than they may hold out for themselves and remind them what they are capable of.
27. Say sorry first, no point in point scoring.
28. Make promises and keep them.
29. Give a hug just because you are great friends and you want to deepen that friendship.
30. Defend your friends against people who gossip about them.
31. Listen to and hear the feelings behind the words.
32. Sometimes, it’s best to walk hand in hand with your friend as opposed to in front or behind.
33. Be really grateful you have the friends you have.
34. Expect everything and nothing at the same time, in that place it is possible to be unconditional.
35. Don’t give advice, as appropriate.
36. Give advice, as appropriate.
37. Show compassion.
38. It’s really important to give friends permission to make a fool of themselves, particularly when they know you will be there for them and be on "their side”
39. Even when your friend is pushing you away, stay close, to let them know you care.
40. Surprise them.
41. Give, without expecting anything in return.
42. Show yourself to be friendly.
43. Learn about the goals and aspirations of your friends.
44. Develop skills for managing conflicts that might arise.
45. Know when to give your friend space and leave them with their own thoughts.
46. Organize a support group that meets regularly.
47. Take time out weekends away.
48. Give a comforting hug.
49. Recognize when you are needed and when your absence would be the best course of friendship at that particular moment in time.
50. Add your own ideas to this list.
For more coaching and personal development ideas, including free 7 day e-coaching course (sign up under newsletter tab) and free email course (sign up under free profits tab) please do visit me at http://www.answerlife.co.uk
You'll also get great ideas on growing your business EXPONENTIALLY.
Its what you learn after you know it all that counts John Wooden
Hyacinth is a Master Practitioner of NLP and a Master Hypnotherapist.
Hyacinth, a Coach, independent consultant and trainer for fifteen years. Highly regarded and ensures that her solutions are informative, exciting and presented in such a way to ensure all learning styles are catered for. She works with personnel at the highest levels in the private, public and voluntary sectors, up to and including members of the board as well as front line staff.
Hyacinth has worked within a number of large public sector organisations, including: Home Office, Probation Service, DfES, DfT, CPS, OfCom, NICE as well as within many of the London Local Authorities.
Article source: http://www.many-articles.com
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