How to Make People Like You
By Matt Platts
Introductory comments by Royane Real
Author of “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends”
What makes people likeable? Most of us want to feel liked and admired, and most of us want to have good friends. Being liked by other people is a very necessary ingredient you must have if want to have friends and have a good social life.
Some of us try too hard to be likeable, whereas some of us don't try hard enough, or we do the wrong things and we turn other people off without realizing it.
The following article by the author Matt Platts gives you many basic ideas you can use to become a more likeable person. The secret Matt Platts reveals is that it’s very important to stop being too self centered, and try to focus on the emotional and social needs of the other person instead.
Recently, I did a little exercise. I tried to think about the people I have known who are the exact opposite of being likeable. I tried to figure out just what it was about these people that made them so unlikeable.
Many of these unlikeable people were folks I had worked with. I remember how much I would dread having to interact with them, because most of the time they were very unpleasant. Some of them were simply mean. They would go out of their way to insult and hurt other people, for no reason.
Some of these unlikeable people were very resentful. You couldn’t ask to borrow a paperclip from them without them telling you some of their long list of resentments. They would go on and on with their stories of how the world had done them wrong. They held a lot of grudges, and everything that went wrong was somebody else’s fault.
Other unlikable people I have known just wanted to talk about themselves all day long. They never showed any interest in anybody else. They only wanted to talk about how interesting they were. It never occurred to them to listen to anyone else.
As you might expect, the majority of these unlikeable people ended up not having many friends. It’s not really a surprise that to have a lot of friends, you have to be a likeable person. If you aren’t a very likeable person now, you can still take steps to work on your personality and become more likeable in the future.
You don’t need to make massive changes in your personality, just remember to pay more genuine attention to the needs of those around you. Take time to really listen to the people around you and let them know you enjoy their company.
Make the effort to become more likeable if you want to make friends in the future.
( The above introductory comments were written by Royane Real )
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Feature article:
How to Make People Like You
By Matt Platts
It is a nice feeling knowing that you are popular. Some of us become popular in school without really knowing why. They find that when they go into the work place, some become instantly popular again, while others lose it quite quickly.
We like to feel important. You might find that we strive for importance our whole life. It's just human nature; not good or bad. So people liking or respecting you obviously makes you feel important, but how do you make people like or respect you?
Well you simply have to give them what they want; the feeling of importance. Think about it; how often have you tried to make people like you, and it just doesn't quite work?
The reason is that you are trying to reap without sowing. You are waiting for the flower but you never planted the seed. If you want others to make you feel important, then you have to make others feel important. They will reciprocate in time, you just need to be patient. Imagine if you made 5 people each day feel important. That's 35 people in a week. That's 35 seeds that will grow and come back to you. The size of the flowers may vary due to some other factors, but you will definitely see effects unless you were not genuine enough.
You can't just go around saying "you're awesome" to everyone. Rather you must be sincere. You need to find something about a person that they are truly good at and then focus on that. Tell them that they are good at it, and show that you are impressed. Imagine someone being impressed by your actions. You would automatically find this impressed person more appealing.
Okay so you have been making people feel important through laughing at their jokes, complimenting them, and showing interest in them, but you find things seem to fail after a while.
If you find conversations are dulling quickly all the time then perhaps you are not being very interesting. You need to find a topic that the other person is interested in. Now you could do some research and find out what they are interested in, such as sports, politics or maybe computer games, or you could simply fall back to the one thing you know for sure they will be interested in; themselves.
The topic most people want to talk about is topics about them; so spur them on! Ask questions about them: "What do you do?" "Do you like this?" "Where are you from?"
People love answering questions to a willing audience on the topic they know most about; their own life. Think now to a stranger coming up to you and asking what you do for a living. Imagine this stranger looking so impressed at this and as though you are some kind of courageous hero. You would feel good. You would tell your funny stories. You would like this person. You would start joking around with them. It really is that simple.
If you want to go a bit more complex into this issue you can ask why some people can make people feel more important than others. I call this perceived credibility. If you know someone who a lot of your friends have made positive comments on, then you will perceive this person to be more credible in his/her reactions to you.
If this person reacts favourably to you such as giving you a compliment, then this compliment will have a greater effect than one from a stranger. Everyone wants to talk or hang out with famous people because they have very high perceived credibility's; people would get massive feelings of importance by hanging out with these people.
Conclusion: People like to feel important. It's a fact of life and instead of forgetting about it, learn how to use it to brighten up your life. Make some investments into people by giving them your undivided attention and be enthralled by them. Laugh at their jokes, give them compliments, ask them about what's happening in their life. Try it for a bit, and watch the seeds you plant grow into something a lot more beautiful.
For more of my articles on making your life brilliant go to http://www.williamsmind.com/blog
Article source: http://www.articlebin.info
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