By Royane Real

Author of “Your Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends and Keeping Friends” 

We are often told that we should avoid discussing politics or religion with a person we have just met.  The reason we are given this advice is because both politics and religion can stir very strong passions in people. 

If you happen to have a different point of view than the person you are talking with, you may quickly find yourself in a bitter argument rather than a pleasant conversation with a potential friend or a flirtatious encounter with a potential date.

But is it always true that we should avoid discussions of political matters just so we don’t upset our conversation partners?

When two people have very different political points of view, this doesn’t necessarily doom the relationship.  Whether or not you can be good friends with a person who has differing political beliefs depends on two things. 

The first is, how seriously do you take your political beliefs?  The second is, how tolerant are you of people who have different political viewpoints?  Are you willing to discuss your differences openly and calmly?

If you take your politics very seriously, you are not likely to develop a deep lasting friendship with someone who has political beliefs very different from your own, although it is possible. 

If you are a person who lives for politics, you probably feel much more comfortable around people who have very similar political beliefs.  In fact, you might actively dislike any people who share the opposite point of view. 

In such a case, you might feel that you want to find out people’s political views as soon as you meet them, because you don’t want to waste your time on someone who doesn’t share your views.  When you meet someone who has similar beliefs to your own, you will feel that you already have a great deal in common.  This may help the friendship or romance to develop much more quickly.

Of course, if you meet someone at a political convention where you are both delegates, chances are that politics will become the main topic of discussion!

While it is possible to make friends or become lovers across political lines, this usually only happens when neither person has strong political opinions.  Especially in the early stages of friendship or a romantic relationship, differing political views can stop the relationship in its tracks.

That’s why people are often advised not to discuss politics or religion during the early stages of getting to know each other.  If the two people have strong political views that are too far apart, the differing opinions can destroy any potential friendship or relationship before it even has a chance to start.

So, does that mean it is always a good idea to avoid the discussion of political opinions during the early stages of getting to know somebody?

Does that mean that friendship or romance can never develop between people with opposing political views?  Of course not, but the difference in political viewpoints can cause friction in the relationship.

There are cases where people manage to make good close friendships and even marriages with others who have very differing political views.  How do these couples manage to continue the relationship? 

Sometimes these relationships succeed because the two people actually enjoy arguing over their political differences.  In other cases, the people involved deal with their difference of opinion by avoiding any discussion of politics altogether. They agree to disagree.

Keep these warnings in mind if you are a person to whom politics is very important.  When you are trying to decide whether or not you will discuss political matters with someone new, ask yourself if the benefits of discussing your beliefs will outweigh the possible risks to the relationship.   

This article was written by Royane Real.

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Learn to Be Popular - even if You're Shy and Lonely!

By Royane Real

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