By Royane Real

Author of    “Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation”

Did you ever stop to think that knowing how to end a conversation is just as important as knowing how to get a conversation started?

You have probably come across a lot of information that will tell you good ways to start a conversation with somebody new. There’s also a lot of information available to help you keep conversations going with people through the use of open ended questions and other conversational techniques that help to make your conversations more successful.

But, sooner or later every conversation must end.  Our good conversations come to an end, as do the bad ones.  Most people pay very little attention to the way they end conversations after talking with somebody.  So, what is a good way to end a conversation?  How do you know when it's a good time to end it?

Some people let conversations drag on too long, so that the other person starts to get irritated.  Or, they might miss a chance to let the other person know how much they enjoyed their little talk together, and may lose out on an opportunity to set up another meeting in the future.

How can you tell when it’s time to end a conversation?  Quite often the other person will start to give you subtle hints, such as, “Well, I’ve got to get going.” If you ignore their hints, they may become more desperate to get away.  The reason might be that they really do have a pressing engagement elsewhere, or perhaps they feel that the conversation has just run out of steam. 

Their eyes might start to dart around the room, and their weight will start to shift from one foot to another.  They start giving one word answers instead of really participating in the conversation.

If the other person shows signs of wanting to get away, that doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t like you.  That person may just have reached the limit of how much socializing they want to do with you at this time.  They may have very pressing work they have to get back to, or they may simply have talked as long as they want to at this time.

If you ignore the other person’s hints to end the conversation, and if you keep on talking, then you really do run the risk of becoming disliked.  If you keep talking long after the other person has signaled their desire to leave, you might get a reputation for being a bore.

People who talk too long and don’t know when to end a conversation either miss the signals the other person is giving them, or they decide to ignore these signals.  The eyes of their conversation partner have glazed over, and they are stifling their yawns, but still the conversation bore keeps talking and talking.  The conversation bore does not know when to end a conversation. 

So, don’t be a conversation bore!  Watch for signs that the other person wants to end the conversation, and let the conversation come to a close when you see the signals.

However, people who suffer from shyness, or who have poor self esteem have the opposite problem in a conversation.  They misinterpret signals from the other person and mistakenly assume the other person is bored or doesn’t want to talk to them.  It’s very common for shy people and people with low self esteem to end the conversation too quickly.  They insist on leaving after just talking for a very few minutes.

This keeps them from getting to know the other person better, and they rarely dare to ask the other person to get together again.

In most cases, if you suspect the other person is starting to lose interest in the conversation, you can ask them if they want to leave.  If they say “No”, then you can probably safely keep on talking for a while yet.  

Remember, that the end of a conversation is just as important as the beginning.  If you try to hang on to a conversation too long, you can undo a lot of the good will you built up earlier in your talk.  If you leave too quickly, you will never get the chance to really connect with your conversation partner.

Remind yourself to watch for signals that your conversation partner might send you.  If you let them leave gracefully, chances are they will be happy to talk to you the next time they see you again.

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Learn to Make conversation Effortlessly!

By Royane Real

Are you tired of being tongue tied or not knowing what to say to people?  Would your life be better if you could make conversation more easily? 

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           Conversation Power

        Communication Skills for Business and Personal Success

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