Royane Real

Author of   “Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation”

There are many good reasons why people find it difficult to make conversation with a stranger.  One reason is because they worry the other person will turn out to be unfriendly, and will say to them, “What are you talking to me for?”

Yes, it is really possible that some of your attempts to talk to strangers could end that badly.  You can minimize the chances of this happening by choosing to talk only to those people who seem friendly and approachable.

Some people are worried that the strangers they encounter may be threatening or dangerous.  Yes, this is also a possibility, so you need to use some common sense.  Keep your conversational attempts with strangers limited to public places where there are a lot of people present. 

The main reason that many people don’t want to start up conversations with strangers is because they worry they will quickly run out of things to say, or that the other person will turn out to be boring. 

However, you can use that fear of having a boring conversation as a challenge to yourself.  Give yourself the task of making every conversation interesting, no matter how dull the other person may appear to be.  This will be good practice for you and it will improve your confidence.

You don’t need to worry that there is some perfect form of conversation that you must master to communicate with others on all occasions.  Conversation is more like an art form, you start it up and let it meander a bit to see where it leads.  As you become more skillful at making conversation, you will learn to help the other person do their part of the conversation more easily.

When you do try to start up a conversation with a stranger, you must adapt your conversation topics to the person you are with if you want to be successful. 

A teenager will want to talk about very different thins than an elderly woman.  A person from China will have different interests and a different outlook than a person from England.  Someone with long hair who needs help loading some musical gear onto a truck will have different conversational interests than an elderly person in a store who needs help deciding which cereal to buy.

Watch out for clues that tell you what the other person really likes to talk about.  Then you can express your own interests and recount some of your own stories.

With more practice, you will be confident that you know how to start up successful friendly conversations with friendly strangers wherever you go.

( The introductory comments which appear above are written by conversation expert Royane Real.)

Learn to Make conversation Effortlessly!

By Royane Real

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