Royane Real
First Date Conversations
By Royane Real
Author of “Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation”
Does having a first date with someone make you nervous? Do you get all worried before a big date, wondering what you're going to say?
The purpose of dating is to get to know somebody better, to find out how the two of you get along. To have fun. To decide whether or not you want to see that person again. It's a chance to get to know them better.
Anyone who has ever dated more than one or two people probably has their share of dating horror stories. Many things can go wrong on a first date, but if they do, at least you know this is a person that you do not want to see again. Or, the other person might decide they don’t want to see you either.
The problem that many people have with making conversation on a first date is that they are usually very nervous. They worry because the stakes are so high. While they are really trying hard to impress the other person, they may try too hard, and end up not being their true selves.
It’s very easy on a first date to talk too much or not talk enough. It’s easy to offend or put off the other person without knowing why.
There’s a lot of information available today about how to behave and what to say on a first date. Sometimes this dating advice you get is really aimed at trying to manipulate the other person so you can get them to do what you want.
If you’re only concerned with dating somebody once or twice so that you can get what you want out of them, you are probably not going to be very concerned about whether or not the two of you will get along on a long term basis. If you are only planning to go out a couple of times, you don’t really care very much about the deeper feelings and ambitions of the person you are dating.
However, if you are going on a date with somebody because they intrigue you and you want to spend time with them and get to know them better, then you need to learn how to start having a real dialogue with them.
First date conversations can be awkward and nerve-wracking. How wonderful it is when you find someone with whom it seems like you can talk freely!
Despite all the advice that’s available for first time dates, I have been on dates with people who did nothing but talk non-stop about themselves for hours. People who showed no consideration or interest in me at all. Needless to say, there were no second dates after the first one.
To make sure you don’t make any first date conversation mistakes, be sure you focus on getting to know the other person. Let them know you really want to get to know them better. Make an effort to make the other person feel respected, valued, comfortable.
That way you have a much better chance of getting to the second date.
( The above introductory comments were written by Royane Real, author of the popular report “Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation”
Learn the secrets of making effective conversation, download it at http://www.lulu.com/real )
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