By Royane Real

Author of  “Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation”  

Do you often find yourself getting tongue tied and awkward when you are making conversation?  Chances are you are making your problem worse by criticizing yourself for your poor conversational performance.

When you think you have just said something stupid in a conversation, do you put yourself down?  Do you hear an inner voice that keeps reminding you that you just said something stupid? 

This inner critical voice has probably become very automatic in you, and you may not even realize how damaging it can be. 

The problem is that this inner criticism won’t help you to improve your conversational ability.  In fact, whenever you criticize yourself, you are filling your mind with even stronger negative affirmations.  These negative affirmations then become the blueprint for your subconscious mind to keep failing in the future!

When your subconscious mind hears you saying “I’m a terrible conversationalist and I can never think of anything interesting to say,”  then your subconscious mind will carry out this affirmation.  And you will probably become even more tongue-tied and awkward in the future!

You will not find it possible to become a better conversationalist if your mind is filled with negative affirmations about your conversational ability.

If you want to find a technique that can help you improve, why not try filling your mind with positive affirmations about your conversation performance, instead of filling it with negative affirmations?

Here's how you can get started. 

The key is to learn the correct use of positive affirmations, and to use them consistently.  

You may already be familiar with how to use affirmations.

Affirmations are words or phrases that are carefully chosen to be repeated to yourself over and over again to create new programming for your subconscious mind.

You can say affirmations out loud to yourself, or repeat them silently in your own mind.

You can write out affirmations by hand, every day, and you can tape up cards with positive affirmations all over your apartment to remind you of the new positive qualities you wish to develop.

You can read your affirmations silently to yourself, or out loud.

You can combine your positive affirmations with visualizations to improve their impact.  Affirmations properly used can be very powerful.

What are some affirmations that could help you become a better conversationalist?

Here are some ideas for you to use to improve your conversational performance:

- I easily make conversation with other people.

- I am relaxed and happy when I talk to others

- Talking to other people is fun and easy for me.

- I deserve to have my voice and my opinion heard.

You will probably have more success if you create your own affirmations for yourself.  Then they will be more personal and more meaningful to you.

Here are a few pointers to keep in mind when you are creating affirmations.

Keep your statements short and positive.  Try to find affirmations that create a good positive emotion within yourself.  Make the effort to actually feel this emotion.

Word your affirmations in the present tense.  Your subconscious brain has a hard time understanding and absorbing a statement like, “In the future I will be relaxed when I talk to others”  but it can understand an instruction that says “I am relaxed when I talk to others” because it is worded in the present.

Don’t use affirmations that talk about the qualities you no longer wish to have.  Only use affirmations that talk about the qualities you want, and talk about them as if you have them right now.

That means, you shouldn’t use an affirmation like, “I no longer get nervous and tongue tied when I talk to others.”  The reason is that you don’t want to keep reminding your brain about these undesired qualities.

Instead, talk about the qualities you do want to have.  For example, you can create an affirmation such as, “I feel relaxed and talkative when I meet new people.”

How often should you repeat your new affirmations?

Until they really sink in deeply into your mind and become a part of you.

And that might take a long time!

The good news is that you can repeat these affirmations many times a day during idle moments, while you are waiting at a stop light, while standing in line at the bank, when brushing your teeth, or any other time you have a few moments to fill your mind with positive messages.

Eventually, your mind will stop following all the negative affirmations that you have been repeating to yourself, and will start to follow the new positive affirmations. 

When you tell yourself enough times that making conversation is easy and fun for you, and something that you’re really good at doing, eventually these affirmations will come true for you.

This article was written by conversation expert Royane Real.  To learn more ways to develop and improve your conversation skills, download the special report “Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation”  at http://www.lulu.com/real

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Learn to Make conversation Effortlessly!

By Royane Real

Are you tired of being tongue tied or not knowing what to say to people?  Would your life be better if you could make conversation more easily? 

Learn the secrets of making conversation with others, every where you go!  Imagine yourself talking easily to others and making new friends.  Or impressing your date with your conversation confidence.  Why wait any longer?

My special report titled : “Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation" is what you need to turn from a shy wallflower to being the center of social attention. 

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Conversation Power

Communication Skills for Business and Personal Success

By James Van Fleet

Renowned communications expert James K. Van Fleet will guide you through the most effective verbal communication strategies available for business, public speaking, employee relations, meetings, family, sales and even romantic encounters !

Learn more at   http://nightingale.directtrack.com/z/10475/CD1323/ 

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