Royane Real
5 Conversation Tips for Dealing with Awkward People
By Peter Murphy
Introductory comments by Royane Real
Author of “Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation”
We all get stuck sometimes having to make conversation with people who are socially awkward. We try and try to keep the conversation going, but it goes nowhere.
In the following article author Peter Murphy describes some of his ideas on how to deal with people who are not good at making conversation. He attempts to analyze what the reasons for their poor conversation performance might be, and make suggestions that he says can help improve the conversation.
For example, he suggests that a person who talks too much without really stopping to listen to you is nervous.
It’s true that some people who talk far too much about themselves are nervous. But it’s also possible that the reason these people talk too much about themselves is simply because they are very self centered, and they are not really interested in you.
When you are trying to speak and interact with someone who monopolizes the conversation, is it worth your while to try to make them listen to what you want to say? Would they really listen to you? Would they care? You have to decide whether or not the person who is talking too much is simply nervous and socially awkward, or whether they really have no interest in you.
If you decide that the other person really has no interest in you and doesn’t want your input into the conversation, is it really worthwhile to try to keep the conversation going?
Another conversational habit that is pointed out in this article is when a person that you are talking with makes frequent comments such as “me too” or “I know how you feel”.
When a person says “I know how you feel”, does this person say this because they want to monopolize all your attention? It’s possible they are simply trying to tell you that they sympathize with your situation.
A person who says “me too” or “I know how you feel” may be trying to show you they have true empathy for you, and for your situation. Some of the most socially successful people I know have built their social success on their ability to empathize with others by the use of words like “I know how you feel”.
These can be very powerful words and phrases that build emotional understanding between people when they are used sincerely.
I have discovered that the best way to learn to make conversation successfully with people who may be socially awkward is to practice your own conversation skills and your own social skills at every chance you get. Don’t worry if every conversation isn’t perfect. You will gradually learn to deal more successfully with the people you encounter.
You can get more ideas to help your conversation performance in the many other conversation articles on this website.
( This introductory comment which appears above is by Royane Real who is the writer of the popular special report for shy and nervous people titled “Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation” You can get it at http://www.lulu.com/real )
Feature article:
5 Conversation Tips for Dealing with Awkward People
By Peter Murphy
Any good conversation tips must include reference to things you just should not do. There are some habits that you should put a stop to so you can communicate effectively.
People get annoyed and generally avoid those who display bad communication habits, so learning about them and stopping them if you do them is important to good conversation.
The following conversation tips explain some habits that people display during conversations.
1. Talking on and on.
Also know as a blabbermouth, these people tend to monopolize the conversation. They also are usually reduced to just chattering away with nobody really listening. The key sign of this habit is someone who talks non-stop and will not let others speak.
These people also never really seem to be talking about anything of interest, just talking about themselves or boring subjects.
Most often someone displays this habit because he or she is nervous. To help someone who displays this habit try to make them feel at ease by showing interest in them and asking questions.
2. All about me.
Someone who has this habit always turns the conversation into something about them. They use the phrases “me too” or “I know how you feel” a lot. The goal for them is to get the attention on them and allow them to speak. Some people may do this because they feel others are monopolizing the conversation or they may simply want attention.
To help someone with his problem you can pay attention to them, make them feel like they are a valued member of the conversation. If they try to turn the conversation about them then politely direct it back to the original person.
3. Lectures.
We all know someone who is way too willing to give advice. This person always has an answer for any situation. They are most often known as a know it all. They seem to know everything on every topic. They also have a way of making their way the only way to do anything. These people may really believe they are helping, so it is sometimes hard to redirect the conversation away from their lecture.
The best way to handle a know it all is to listen and thank them for their advice, then change the subject. When they constantly want to lecture you may want to tell them you are not really looking for advice right now and you would like to handle it your way. Know it alls can be the most difficult habit to handle.
4. Not contributing.
These people like to stand around and listen, but not say much. They may interject occasionally, but usually with just a brief sentence or one word answer. They may also never speak, but just use body language. The problem here is these people can seem like they are more eavesdropping than conversing and this can make others in the conversation feel awkward.
To help someone who does not speak up much is to actively draw them into the conversation. Most often people display this habit because they are shy.
5. Gossip.
Everyone has told a juicy piece of gossip at one point or another. Gossip can be rather damaging, especially when it isn’t true. This makes many people feel uneasy around someone who is gossiping. Most people gossip because they feel insecure about themselves.
They may see others lives as more exciting so they’d rather talk about them. Try asking this person questions about their life. Try to find something they are interested in to draw them away from gossip and into a good conversation.
These habits can be annoying at best and conversation stoppers at worse. You should try to improve your communication skills by taking these habits away. If you notice someone else displaying one of these habits you might want to use your new found conversation tips to help them stop.
Any good conversation tips must include reference to things you just should not do. There are some habits that you should put a stop to so you can communicate effectively.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.conversationtalk.com/report.htm
Article Source: http://www.ArticleCo.com
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Learn to Make conversation Effortlessly!
By Royane Real
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