5 Great Questions to Start a Conversation With Anyone You Meet
By Peter Murphy
Introductory comments by Royane Real
Author of “Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation”
It’s happened to all of us - we’ve been seated next to a person we’ve never met before, and now we have to think up something to say to this total stranger. And we don’t know where to even begin talking.
Very often, the conversation stops before it even begins, because we are too nervous to say anything. We are worried about what this total stranger may think of us. We can’t think of a single thing to talk about. How awkward!
Sometimes our mind goes blank because we have already decided that the other person can't possibly be interesting. Sometimes we decide that we are the one who is boring, and we don't want the other person to find out. The truth is that you can often have an interesting conversation even with a stranger as long as you are able to find some common ground that you both like to talk about.
Very few of us are naturally gifted at making conversation with people we don’t know well, but the good news is that all of us can learn to improve his important and useful skill.
We may run through half a dozen possible topics to talk about in our mind, but in the end, we reject all of them because none of them seem good enough. None of them seem really impressive.
You can easily earn a reputation as a great conversationalist and a fun person to have around if you learn a few techniques for starting conversations easily.
A really good way to start new conversations is to have list of stimulating conversation question prepared in advance.
You don’t need to pull your list of conversation topics out of your pocket and read from it - that could look very artificial and be embarrassing. But you can keep a list of conversation topics in the back of your mind for use when the conversation seems to be stalled.
And guess what? Your questions don’t need to be brilliant and stimulating.
They just have to be slightly interesting enough to get the conversation off the ground.
Then you must be alert for signs of what the other person really likes to talk about. Concentrate on those topics of discussion, and you will have a lively conversation!
Let the other person talk about themselves and their own interests. Show your sincere interest in them by asking good questions and then really make the effort to listen and respond. They will go away feeling you are the most brilliant, fascinating conversationalist in the world!
Learn more conversation secrets in my special report “Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation” You can get it at http://lulu.com/real
Now further down this page is a feature article by Peter Murphy which discusses how you can use questions to get conversations started.
( The introductory comments above are written by conversation expert Royane Real )
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Feature article
5 Great Questions to Start a Conversation With Anyone You Meet
By Peter Murphy
Starting a conversation with someone you don't know well can seem like a scary business. You probably stand and watch the room full of strangers, hoping desperately that someone will talk first - anyone but you.
You don't know if you'll be ignored or what reception your words will get. That's why using questions to start a conversation is a good idea.
A question lets the person you're talking to know exactly what you want to get back from them. Because that makes it easy for them to respond, they're likely to answer you and then you're in business. You've got the conversation started.
What's so scary about breaking the ice?
A. You're scared of being rejected.
If I say hello, they won't say hello back to me. Hello doesn't take much effort - but it can also be responded to by a simple smile or a nod. That's not much good if you're hoping to start a conversation.
B. "I haven't anything good to say!”
Who said you had to start a conversation with something fascinating and exciting? That's too much pressure to put on yourself, so get that idea out of your head right now.
For both of these reasons, questions are a good way to start a conversation. The questions don't have to be anything too clever or intellectual. Your questions should be open-ended so that they invite the person you're asking to give more of a response than a simple 'yes' or 'no'. That's not going to start a very long conversation - is it!
Let's have a look at five good questions to start conversations:
1. "How was your day?" is a nice conversation opener. It's easy to answer and the person you ask is bound to have some opinion on it. Giving the other person a chance to talk about himself or herself shows that you are polite and caring.
Also, it gives you an opportunity to learn more about the other person. You'll hear what they did with their day and that might also give you clues about any family, work or hobbies that have. You can then pick up on any of these clues to further develop your conversation with them.
2. "What do you do in your spare time?" is a great question to start conversations with. It helps both of you see if you have anything in common - and that gives you a whole raft of ideas to continue the conversation. You can both talk about why you love the hobby and how long you've been doing it.
3. "What do you do for a living?" will give you fertile ground for finding out about the other person and asking more questions.
4. "Have you been on holiday this year?" will give you plenty to talk about. Most people have either recently been on a vacation or they're planning one. Good or bad, they'll love to share their vacation stories with you.
5. "Do you have any family?" is a gentle, sensitive way of opening up a potentially easy subject for conversation. Phrasing the question like that also avoids potential embarrassment over divorce, sexuality or childlessness.
The 'trick' is to ask an open-ended question on a normal, everyday topic that the person you're talking to will find easy to answer. You're trying to get to know them, not interrogate them. A conversation needs to be a two-way process and asking an easy question is the perfect way to draw in the other person and make a conversation.
As soon as you can get a response from the other person that goes somewhere and gives you an idea for something else to say, you've got the conversation going.
That's why using questions to start conversations is a great idea.
Article source: http://www.1articleworld.com
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at: conversation starters
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