Small Talk Savvy - Don't Get Hung Up On Three Common Misconceptions
By Melissa Wadsworth
Introductory comments by Royane Real
Author of “Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation”
I used to be very intimidated by the idea of making small talk with other people. I usually felt very nervous and I always thought that everything I said was stupid.
It took me many years and a lot of practice to discover the secrets of making small talk more easily. Once I discovered small talk secrets and the art of making conversation I decided to write them down and make them more available to other people. I also decided to put together a lot of articles about making conversation in one place so that people could learn more about making conversation.
The following article by Melissa Wadsworth has a lot of useful small talk tips that can help you feel less intimidated.
Once you realize it’s okay to make small talk that isn’t absolutely perfect, you take a lot of pressure off yourself. If you think that you’re not good at thinking up topics to discuss, you can always work on improving your listening skills.
If you listen with your whole being, and not just with your ears, you will be able to spot some important clues about what your conversation partner is interested in. Be on the lookout for the topics that make them get more excited and energized. If you can show genuine interest in the topics the other person wants to discuss, they will think you are a brilliant conversationalist!
How do you show the other person that you are genuinely interested? One way is to ask the other person some open ended questions about the topics they seem to really enjoy. The other way is to show that you are interest is to use your facial expressions and body language to show that you are really interested in what they are saying.
Look concerned when they are concerned, and look happy when they are discussing a happy topic.
If you can find common ground that you both enjoy talking about, your conversations will become much easier. You don’t have to do all the work yourself. Think of small talk as a tool you can use to discover your topics of common interest.
( These introductory comments which appear above were written by author Royane Real.)
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By Royane Real
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Feature article:
Small Talk Savvy - Don't Get Hung Up On Three Common Misconceptions
By Melissa Wadsworth
Networkers Beware! Both smooth talkers and shy communicators can have some misconceptions about how small talk works. Don’t let common misconceptions hold you back or cause you to make harsh judgements about others.
Misconception #1: If you aren’t born with the gift of gab you’ll never catch up. Fortunately this is not true.
When you’re a little uncertain socially, it’s so easy to get wrapped up in your own perceived weaknesses. Yet, here’s the key to success: Just bring a positive, focused energy into a room.
Small talk is ruled by people who make others comfortable. Small talk is nourished by sincere interest.
Everyone can show curiosity. We can all try to be more aware of how other people are feeling and respond to that. Determine the attitude that you bring to your interactions and the rest is secondary.
Misconception #2: The first impression is everything. The first impression is only the first thing.
In most social situations you can make up for a shaky start in several ways.
Get people to talk about themselves. That gives you time to regroup.
Be complimentary – about clothes, jewelry, line of business, etc. This usually changes the energy for the better.
Be a really good listener. People need to feel they are being heard.
Any of these things can result in a positive walk-away impression.
Misconception #3: Everything you say has to be riveting.
Wow, what a lot of unnecessary pressure! People almost expect small talk to be a little awkward -- that's why so many people talk about the weather. And, that's ok. Accept a little awkwardness and have faith that your conversation will get off the ground.
At heart, effective small talk is about generosity and being open to the possibilities that lie in connecting with another human. It’s about offering sincerity and warmth.
Think of it as simple exploration. Don’t make it too complicated. Find out what others do, why they do it, how they got started, their goals.
Know what interests you, too, and be sure to reveal a bit about yourself. Don’t try to control too much or change the subject too often. Stay focused and engaged in one or two topics and you’re golden.
Author Info:
Melissa Wadsworth is a conscious communications expert and the author of Small Talk Savvy (a Borders bookstores exclusive). She speaks on this topic to business groups and also uses her 20 plus years as a PR professional to create dynamic and effective PR/Marketing copy for clients. Learn more by visiting her at http://www.melissawadsworth.com If you contact her and mention this article she will email you her "Top Ten PR Tips."
Article source: InnoArticles.com
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