Royane Real

Billions of people are doing it every single day. In fact, you could say it makes the world go round. Some of the people who are doing it are very young. Some are very old.

And billions of hours are spent on it every single day.

What is this activity that is so common that nearly everyone is doing it every single day? It's taking part in conversation! Making small talk! Conversing. Yakking. Making chitchat. Shooting the breeze! 

This kind of idle conversation might last five minutes, or it might last half an hour. In many cases, small talk conversation doesn't lead anywhere. It just disappears without leaving much of a trace.

Are all those billions of hours that people spend every day making conversation a waste of time? Not necessarily.

Even though small talk conversation can be a big time waster, it also helps the time go by. It helps people get to know each other better. Small talk can be a lot of fun and extremely enjoyable.

Even though most small talk conversations might not be about anything important, a few may lead you to form deeper friendships with some of the people that you chat with. Or these conversations might lead to new job opportunities.

Small talk actually has a purpose. The purpose of small talk is to let other people know just a little bit about you, while at the same time you get to learn a little bit about them.

During the course of making introductory small talk, you may find that you have some interests in common. Or you may discover that you don't have much to talk about!

Not every one is good at making conversation with people they don't know very well. Some people find making small talk very difficult, even agonizing.

Having good talk skills is actually important. A lack of conversation skills can lead to problems in creating new relationships. Poor conversation skills can even hold you back in your career. 

The next time you encounter someone that you've already chatted with before, you both will know just a bit more about each other. The more often you talk, the more you may find that you have in common.  Your future conversations may be easier and more interesting if you have laid a good foundation over the course of many short chats.

People who aren't good at small talk will find that they don't make nearly as many friends as people who make small talk easily. A lack of conversation skills can make you look socially awkward.  Having poor conversation skills may doom you to a life of loneliness.

People who are very shy and people who have poor self esteem often have difficulty starting these conversations and keeping them going.

Sometimes very intelligent people are the ones that have the most difficulty in making idle conversation with others.

If you have problems making small talk and other forms of conversation, what should you do?

First, you must ask yourself whether improving your conversation skills is something that you really want to do. Ask yourself why improving your conversational skills could be important to you.

Would your life be better if you could make conversation easily with other people?

If the answer is yes, the good news is that you really can improve your conversational skills. It will take practice and commitment to make your conversations better, but when your conversation skills improve, it can open up a whole new world of social opportunities for you.